I need some help guys.
Lets start from the top.
About 4 years ago I was pressured into dating some chick I didnt really like. She was hot so that was why I kinda went with it. It was my second relationship (ever) and lets just say she was skilled in the arts of dating. I acted like a total loser because I didnt know what to do. We didnt last more then two weeks.
After that me and her best friend started talking (Lets call her "Chick"). Chick and I live far away so we didnt meet right away. We talked on MSN / Skype / Facebook etc for hours and once again I was a loser. But she put up with me. Now 4 years later we still have yet to meet (Actually I saw here once at the mall but I was to afraid to say hello) yet I feel so madly in love with her. Shes funny, cute, smart, creative etc etc etc. But most importantly she understands me and my fudge ups and isnt scared or what ever.
I feel like if we were to meet/hang out it would be really awkword and I would fudge it up due to the fact that we know so much about each other (Due to the countless hours talking online) yet dont know anything about each other. Im sure you all know your 'internet' self is nothing like the real you. We both mean alot to each other but are afraid that if we meet things will change.
So Im kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place.
What should I do?
When it comes to situations like this, for me personally, I'd probably ask myself "Why not do it?" Yes, it could completely mess the friendship up but at the same time as long as the feeling is mutual it should work out. And if you really think about it, it's something that's inevitable to happen, so better sooner than later, right?
I've never been in a situation completely like that, but I will tell you that I'm extremely shy when it comes to being face to face. I never, EVER share anything with any of my real-life friends, unless it's someone special/really important to me, and even then it's over text/messaging of some sort. All I have to say is for once don't think about it, just go with it. As long as you're confident that she'll accept you for who you are and you open up to you, you should be able to pull it off.
I know that this is probably a lot easier said than done, because I'd be thinking the same thing if I were in you're position but unfortunately, there's no magically code or cheat book for how to magically solve problems, especially ones of this nature.
I had the same problem about a year ago. I fell in love with this girl who lived about an hour away. We talked every night on the phone for hours, on aim, skype, ooVoo, etc... We decided to go out, and while I was happy, I was scared at the same time... Scared to meet her.
Eventaully, we met in real life, and things went well. I made jokes to make things less akward, and she liked them, 3 months later, we had Sex, and a year later, we live together. All i'm trying to say is, don't be afraid to do something. If you do, it can either be the best thing that ever happened to you, or the worst thing to happen to you. But what is better, never knowing, or having a beautiful girlfriend/wife/fiance who loves you. Ask yourself.
Thanks for the help guys. It helped alot. But one further question. When we talk on skype or what ever we get bored (Sometimes) and talk about nothing really. Im worried that if / when we meet there will be nothing to talk about and we will just stand there awkwardly. Im fine talking to girls I don't care about but with her its different I turn into "the kid whos talking to his crush". I stutter and stay stupid crap.
Personally if I were you, I would just go ahead with it and meet her and see what happens.
I know a fair few people who have met online and some are together to this day.
You can use what you both have learnt about each other over the Internet as an advantage when meeting her.
Just be cool and you'll be sweet.
I've defiantly had some problems along the same lines as yours.
To be perfectly honest, it's never really easy meeting somebody irl that previously you had only spoken with over the web.
It's important to be yourself, and not try to be somebody you're not, that can only lead to problems down the road. It's also important to realize and accept that the first greeting can be awkward, just accept it and from then on it will only get better. Wasn't it a little awkward talking to her for the first time? Now look how far you've come.
Another thing that can help is to talk via webcam. That can get you more used to instant dialogue ( you don't get a few seconds to think about your response), facial expressions and just general face to face conversation.
Best of luck to you bro, keep us updated.
I think you should try and pick yourself up, and get the confidence to meet her. I think the way you've described it things will go well for you guys. Let us know what happens.
P.S: Sorry about that ^ It's been happening allot recently.
Everyone is different from themselves online. Be it something small or something huge. That doesn't mean you still can't get to know her as a person. And you'll never know how things are going to work until you meet her. Of course when you first meet a person you have that 'oh dear lord' awkward phase. But sometimes those are our greatest moments. Just go meet her give it a try. Life is full of experiences you can't really hide behind something. We've got to try in order to succeed. Good luck.
crap went bad... Real bad, She hated me and I hated her. I feel like im empty, like my soul has been ripped from me....
I wan't to kill myself.
Sadly I can't...
I made a promise to myself that I would never kill myself in a "Lame" way such as pills, a gun, hanging myself etc. It would have to be original. I wan't to jump out of a plane flying at a very high height and free fall (No parachute) until I hit the ground and go splat. Sadly I need to be 18 and have around 10 jumps with an instructor before I can jump by myself. I know this seems like I giant troll post but I swear to you it isnt.
She is a smoker, I asked her to stop because it was killing her and I don't think I could deal with her dieing of cancer and then she went all ape crap about me telling her how to live her life. I attempted to explain to her why I want her to stop and how much I care for her but she wouldn't listen. It ended with her telling me to go kill myself. If only I was 18 and had enough jumps to do it myself. I would Just to freakin smite that bitch.
Im out guys. I won't be coming back.
Thank you for all the people who tryed to help, But sadly it didn't work (Nothing you could of done to predict the crap that flew) She was what I needed to stay calm. To stay happy. She was my "escape" someone I could be "myself" to and not have to deal with all the other crap. I needed her. And now that shes dead (metamorphicly) I believe I will, Not in real life but in the head.
Good bye.
Merry Christmas.
I have had the same experience. I try to not start relationships or friendships online.