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THIS HAPPENED TODAY

today was i most say a really good day. i tried out for swimming and i got put with seniors and juniors while im just a freshman. then while i was walking to the bus terminal i saw a dead guy, i checked his pulse and nothing. i got in the bus on my way to the mall and i called the cops. once i arrived to the mall i met with this girl whom i met on facebook. shes in 7th grade and knows a couple of people on my highschool. shes pretty cool. she also brought 2 friends with her and her mom. her mom is really cool. i wish i could have a mom like that. my mom is always depressed and angry at something. im not very social but today i tried my best. im actually pretty fun and open once you get to know me. but it takes quite a long road for me to act like that around someone. anyways one of her friends is bestfriends with this girl who pretty much played me. i felt hard for her.

THIS HAPPENED OCTOBER 2
we met on facebook because her friend liked me a lot and they were all in a band. we talked, shared secrets, and flirted. then the day i was finally going to meet her in person it was in one of her concerts. i went just to see her. but it was too awkard because i just wanted to talk to her personally and ask her out. when i saw her i was shocked, the way she dressed was unique and her eyes were amazing. we sent eachtoher pictures and videos too. she kind of avoided me that day. i was tired, i walked 1 hour to get there because the roads were closed and the bus was taking too long. anyways after that day we stopped talking less and less then she told me she has been crushing in someone else then she deactivated her fb. i was so heartbroken and angry at myself. i deleted her phone along with all the texts.

2-3 weeks ago i was stil ltrying to find her because i love this girl and i heard that she moved and that the band was breaking apart because of that. my heart fell and broke. i thought i was cursed. but now today while watching a movie with her bestfriend and other people she mentioned her she said " didnt u went out with .... for like 2 weeks" i was like no.... the day u saw me at the concert was the first time i saw .... in person. then after the movie i grew some balls and asked her what really happened to the band because i asked all of the band members and they didnt told me. and she told me " ....... wants to separate from the band" she was the one who put the band together and she was the best out of all of them. now im here home. thinking back and thinking to my self " i really had a great time today, but i dont think ill ever get to hang out with them because i acted a little anti-social, im also thinking how much i miss that girl and talking to her" my family is just trash, everyone talks crap about other family members. my mom is constantly making me feel like im crap but ive grew stronger and i dont really care about what people think about me. the problem is im very shy and anti-social because of my mom... i have tried to suicide and i was too much of a pussy to do it. however i do not fear death. i would be happy to die anyday to stop feeling like this almost every day.

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i also forgot to mention.... i have cut myself several times last year and when i was around 7

First of all, before we start. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know it may not seem like that, it may seem better to die. But just think, you will never get to live again, ever. This is your one shot at life, and although it may seem crappy now, just wait a few years, move out and get away from your family and things should get better for you. I have a total understanding of what you're going through, and although hard, you can and will get past it.

Now, as for cutting yourself. I'm not saying it's right, but it has been proven to relieve stress. I sure as hell do not suggest doing it though, I don't think you should. I cannot stop you from doing it, just make sure not to go anywhere near your major veins, in fact just don't cut yourself!

It may relieve stress but it can cause allot more, trust me. I have done it before too, I know how it feels, and have since thought about doing it too, but I haven't and will never cut myself again!

BreShirE is very correct. You only get one chance at life. Enjoy what you've got, and maybe something in the future may happen, something good. You should do talk to a local psychologist about this. Because your life is very very precious, you don't want to lose it and you may never know what could happen in the future.

Like BreShire mentioned "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" but if your dumb enough you do it.. I know it must be hard for you to go through this but mate you get life only once and life.. We all have some or the other problems in life and we all have to face it.. running away from it wont solve your problem.. Be strong turn n adult (18) and live your own life you wont have to stick with your mom then..
just stay calm is all i will advise you.

Please, no matter what the situation is, don't commit suicide! Imagine if your problem made it worse for EVERYONE around you, your mum really loves you! She just might be tired or something! Just try and get the girl on her own, and have a one on one chat with her about what is really going on, never give up!

I hope you get help soon to prevent anything bad happening.

There is really no need for suicide, that's just a weak way out of real life and doesn't hurt you it hurts the ones around you.

Good luck.

You should Include a TD:LR Version Bro

The TD:LR of this would be, I'm going to cut again.

we met on facebook because her friend liked me a lot and they were all in a band. we talked,

Cutting yourself isn't a good escape.
Honestly, just talk to people about it.
You'll be fine.
if you need anyone to talk to, PM me.