11-03-2011, 06:44 PM
I've always been a pessimistic person, and I have good reason to be. But it's gotten to the point where it's interfering with an important aspect of my life: relationships.
Don't get me wrong, I know a lot about how people think and I'm always used to knowing the next move (like a chess game) but the thing is, I've been confused here lately, and with confusion comes my pessimistic and negative nature. I almost ALWAYS see the glass 'half empty' and I literally think like that. I always play around with the "What if?" game, and I've had a big feeling recently that whenever I want/need something that would vitally affect my life, I always end up not only never achieving it, but something happens that's so bad it has the complete opposite outcome of more than I could have ever imagined.
[Back on-topic]
So for me, you could say I do have confidence most of the time and I used to have problems with that, but I've recently gained a lot back. I was strictly raised to think a LOT before I think, so I always go the way that is at least 95% 'safe'. And now that safety switch is actually doing me a lot more harm than good, because now I don't make any moves.
So, the girl is someone that is quite different and peculiar. She's bisexual (I'm not hypocritical, so I don't judge) and I'm perfectly fine with that. Just recently she hooked up with another girl, fine with that too. But she's also made more advances on me since then, and I found out that she is 'interested' in me but she's not dating guys because they're not exactly respectful around here, and I'm completely opposite of that. I actually understand that I probably could make more advances on her, identical to the ones she did to me, but I have that safety switch keeping me from getting out of my comfort zone or safety zone (It's kinda like trying to get outside the map in a video game, it's extremely hard to do but it seems so simple). I always think of the worst case scenarios and I've also got a problem with people talking about me.
Of course, like most schools, when one person knows something, EVERYONE knows about it at the end of the next day. It's like I wanna act, but I'm somehow not allowing myself to, because of constant doubt/pessimism/negativity. I don't act out my emotions, and I usually only type them due to me being the actual minority in terms of intellect at my school, and my family unfortunately makes a big deal out of just about anything I do, so that'd be a total nightmare and would probably put me into an emotional hibernation (which I've just 'awoken' from).
So I'm just asking if anyone has any tips on the situation, mostly having to do with negativity and how I can start thinking positive, because it's ruining not only chances at relationships, but will probably put me at borderline paranoia in the future.
Don't get me wrong, I know a lot about how people think and I'm always used to knowing the next move (like a chess game) but the thing is, I've been confused here lately, and with confusion comes my pessimistic and negative nature. I almost ALWAYS see the glass 'half empty' and I literally think like that. I always play around with the "What if?" game, and I've had a big feeling recently that whenever I want/need something that would vitally affect my life, I always end up not only never achieving it, but something happens that's so bad it has the complete opposite outcome of more than I could have ever imagined.
[Back on-topic]
So for me, you could say I do have confidence most of the time and I used to have problems with that, but I've recently gained a lot back. I was strictly raised to think a LOT before I think, so I always go the way that is at least 95% 'safe'. And now that safety switch is actually doing me a lot more harm than good, because now I don't make any moves.
So, the girl is someone that is quite different and peculiar. She's bisexual (I'm not hypocritical, so I don't judge) and I'm perfectly fine with that. Just recently she hooked up with another girl, fine with that too. But she's also made more advances on me since then, and I found out that she is 'interested' in me but she's not dating guys because they're not exactly respectful around here, and I'm completely opposite of that. I actually understand that I probably could make more advances on her, identical to the ones she did to me, but I have that safety switch keeping me from getting out of my comfort zone or safety zone (It's kinda like trying to get outside the map in a video game, it's extremely hard to do but it seems so simple). I always think of the worst case scenarios and I've also got a problem with people talking about me.
Of course, like most schools, when one person knows something, EVERYONE knows about it at the end of the next day. It's like I wanna act, but I'm somehow not allowing myself to, because of constant doubt/pessimism/negativity. I don't act out my emotions, and I usually only type them due to me being the actual minority in terms of intellect at my school, and my family unfortunately makes a big deal out of just about anything I do, so that'd be a total nightmare and would probably put me into an emotional hibernation (which I've just 'awoken' from).
So I'm just asking if anyone has any tips on the situation, mostly having to do with negativity and how I can start thinking positive, because it's ruining not only chances at relationships, but will probably put me at borderline paranoia in the future.