Let's start off with, I'm Indian. Kind of like Asian, but not quite. Still bad.
My parents, like all Asian parents, have enormous expectations for me.
They've been getting pissed at me for making 91s, etc, because this is my first year of high school and I've always made 98s, etc.
They make me feel like crap and my mom just screamed at me because I made an 86 on a test. The test affected my grade by 0.3 points and kept me at the same rounded grade.
I'm always feeling like crap now and feel like I can't do anything good because I go to my brother's and sister's alma mater and all of the teachers loved them, so they don't want me to screw it up for them.
Please don't flame...
It's okay, we seriously all go through this. Most people say it's common and it's just a phase that teenagers go through. It's the major time of your life when you get pushed the hardest to take responsibilities and do your best in school. I'm going to honestly say that you will be thanking your parents like crazy later on when you get accepted by one of the best universities.
For me, I've always had a ton of stress. For one, I'm trying to get major scholarships and other ways to decrease my debt I'll most likely get by going to college, and I'll end up having to pay it off eventually. I don't have the money at all to pay my way without scholarships to college, so I have to get in as many things as I can. I have to stay in band until my senior year and I'll probably end up getting some community service time in here coming soon. You should sincerely be thankful for them pushing you, it's extremely helpful. I know I'm probably sounding like ever other person saying it's normal, when it's not.
I make high grades like you, but I don't get pushed, I just push myself. I'm actually not having a big difference in my performance, I'm also starting highschool this year and I know that it's the most crucial time to get a good GPA. If you screw up the first year then you may never get that back, and if you do you probably had to work your butt off to do it. The only thing 'normal' about it is it's the time when most teens end up having fights with parents (the most) and you're pressured into a lot of things. Even though it has been stereotyped that most Asian people are pushed really hard, you're still unique and it's still a problem you'll have to push through.
Another way to think of it is the fact that being involved so much in school means you'll have a very successful life and will most likely grow up to be very wealthy. Yes, your parents are probably a bit to hard on you but they're only doing it because they care about you, not just because they don't want you ruining the reputation that you're siblings have created. I could seriously go on and on about this topic, but I don't have the time and you'd probably get sick of reading it.
So I'll just say if you ever wanna talk about problems (I don't care if an alien landed in your back yard lol) you can add me on Skype: cyanide256. I'm usually on daily (that is, if you're in the same country as me). I don't care for talking about things because I once had to do that and it truthfully helps ease the stress.
(11-01-2011, 05:56 PM)Facade Wrote: [ -> ]It's okay, we seriously all go through this. Most people say it's common and it's just a phase that teenagers go through. It's the major time of your life when you get pushed the hardest to take responsibilities and do your best in school. I'm going to honestly say that you will be thanking your parents like crazy later on when you get accepted by one of the best universities.
For me, I've always had a ton of stress. For one, I'm trying to get major scholarships and other ways to decrease my debt I'll most likely get by going to college, and I'll end up having to pay it off eventually. I don't have the money at all to pay my way without scholarships to college, so I have to get in as many things as I can. I have to stay in band until my senior year and I'll probably end up getting some community service time in here coming soon. You should sincerely be thankful for them pushing you, it's extremely helpful. I know I'm probably sounding like ever other person saying it's normal, when it's not.
I make high grades like you, but I don't get pushed, I just push myself. I'm actually not having a big difference in my performance, I'm also starting highschool this year and I know that it's the most crucial time to get a good GPA. If you screw up the first year then you may never get that back, and if you do you probably had to work your butt off to do it. The only thing 'normal' about it is it's the time when most teens end up having fights with parents (the most) and you're pressured into a lot of things. Even though it has been stereotyped that most Asian people are pushed really hard, you're still unique and it's still a problem you'll have to push through.
Another way to think of it is the fact that being involved so much in school means you'll have a very successful life and will most likely grow up to be very wealthy. Yes, your parents are probably a bit to hard on you but they're only doing it because they care about you, not just because they don't want you ruining the reputation that you're siblings have created. I could seriously go on and on about this topic, but I don't have the time and you'd probably get sick of reading it.
So I'll just say if you ever wanna talk about problems (I don't care if an alien landed in your back yard lol) you can add me on Skype: cyanide256. I'm usually on daily (that is, if you're in the same country as me). I don't care for talking about things because I once had to do that and it truthfully helps ease the stress.
Thanks for the response and the help. Thanks for the offer for skype help, also.
It's not just parents pushing, though. I forgot to add that I'm at a new school this year. At my previous school I was popular, had a bunch of friends, etc. I had to grow on people and I had a good group of friends. At this new school, basically everyone doesn't talk to me. I know this sounds like a typical new kid scenario, but I go to a small high school with less than 90 people in my grade.
I keep getting these thoughts that I'm basically a failure to my family because my parents and siblings have high expectation, and I myself have high goals. I constantly feel like a loser and such.
Like I said before, it's not like I'm incapable of making friends. I had a lot of friends at my old school. I don't know... :/
(11-01-2011, 06:31 PM)sockatobi Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for the response and the help. Thanks for the offer for skype help, also.
It's not just parents pushing, though. I forgot to add that I'm at a new school this year. At my previous school I was popular, had a bunch of friends, etc. I had to grow on people and I had a good group of friends. At this new school, basically everyone doesn't talk to me. I know this sounds like a typical new kid scenario, but I go to a small high school with less than 90 people in my grade.
I keep getting these thoughts that I'm basically a failure to my family because my parents and siblings have high expectation, and I myself have high goals. I constantly feel like a loser and such.
Like I said before, it's not like I'm incapable of making friends. I had a lot of friends at my old school. I don't know... :/
I know what you mean about the 'new kid scenario' and I've been there. In my grade, there's 60 people at the most, and that's probably pushing it. I really don't know how you could possibly help to fit in, because when I moved I got a bunch of friends, and now I'm almost completely antisocial. I used to have a bunch of good things in common but then I moved again and now I feel as if I don't fit in. But, it's life. Plain and simple.
Like I said before just push through it. Trust me, I've had a lot of burdens over my head, but I've had to go through thick and thin also. I'm not saying this to make you feel better or empathize. I'm the same age as you and I know that stuff is tough. Luckily for me, I'm not pushed or pressured but I've made one B in my life and I still wasn't too happy for it. I'm sure you're probably already studying a ton after school/before school, so I don't think I could actually help out as much as I'd like on here in just a couple of posts.
You could also add me on Facebook if you don't have Skype, but besides that, there's not much more I can do to help you.
Don't let them force you into getting high grades, although it will be good for you in the end, if you don't want to do good, then don't.
I'm you tbh [indian] and I know how our parents bug our ass to get more marks xD when ever they starts to bug me,I say these words
" Everyone is not the same , some may fail,some may score 100 " -.-
The important thing is your getting the good grades, you should talk to your parents about this, and ask them why they are getting upset even though your get the top marks.
Because this is very bad parenting. No parent should get angry for getting Average 90%.