Hello there. I'm an 18 years old male and I have a thing that is bothering me for a while. I never had a girlfriend and I never kissed one either. I never been even close to it. It's killing me to see all these kids having girlfriends, having sex and crap like that. I just feel weird. Most of the people my age are in a relationship, most of them are lasting for months, some of them for years. I just feel outcasted, like I don't belong anywhere. It's not that I sit in a house 24/7. I have friends, I run an active life. I meet girls and everything, but it always turns out that they just want to be friends with me or they're just acting polite, nothing more. crap, what am I doing wrong. Why some guys get girls easily and I have to struggle to even meet one? I know I have a small self-confidence problem, but fudge, why me? Why do I have to feel like crap all the time and alone when others have fun and are in love? That just sucks... Also, even if I meet a girl and she likes me, how the fudge would she react if I said to her that I never kissed? Or had a gf? In our town it's normal to do it by an age of 16. Can anyone give me some advice?
im going through the SAME EXACT thing, im 16 though. try asking someone you like out. although i have never done it
Well guys i have gone thru the same thing about 3-4 years ago when i was like 17-18 years old. The main problem was that time is i never tried to tell a girl about my feelings.. i never tried to propose.. but after some time i thought it's enough,i have to do it now.. so i just proposed my ex classmate on valentines day without imagining about the result.. she got angry on me that day but things worked out later and we are in a relationship from that day
so just be positive...
and btw sex/kissing is not everything, you have to find your true love...... i have never kissed my girlfriend till now..we are in long distance relation ship... and we have just met 1 time (2 years ago) till now.
I'm exactly like you to be honest, up until I got a girlfriend no girl would talk to me unless absolutely necessary. I mean, I did have quite a few friends who were girls but we were just friends, when I talk about no girls talking to me I mean potential girlfriends. Don't feel pressured into sex by the way, when you're ready or the time comes it will happen. In all honesty I'm 20 and still a virgin, I've had plenty opportunities but they were never really right. You shouldn't have sex, just to have sex you know what I mean?
There isn't much you can do, but if you really want a girlfriend or a girl to talk too you need to be more approachable, maybe even a little more aggressive in your flirting. Now I don't mean to go as far as "Hey let's just sex right here" or like "Let me rip your panties off ;D) no no no lol that's all the wrong way. What I mean is to not be afraid to ask or even just talk / mess around. If your talking to a girl and your sitting down, start to play footsie with her, then make it sound like shes the one doing it. She's probably going to get a little defensive and say shes not the one, but it's all fun so she's joking around and laughing when she's doing it. That's a good ice breaker for physical contact. That opens the night to a whole of possibilities (or may end badly, every girl is different but the lot of them will laugh about it and allow you to touch them after that). With flirting don't come on too strong, I have a friend that just says whats on his mind to a girl... and it always ends badly. We would be in a skype call and a girl would join one day, she would leave and immediately after he would tell me he's in love with her (Yea I know right?) the next day he'll talk to her alone and just creep her out because he comes on way too strong. He would use words like love right away (Don't ever do that), he'll tell her things she doesn't need to know....Pretty much what I'm getting at, is don't treat her like your mother >.> lol Don't treat her like a long time love that you've married type thing. Don't scare her off with the heavy words like love. Just act natural, and talk... after joking around for a bit, if you want it to get a little intimate you can start with like a 20 questions game (When you two are alone - this works for me some how idk) but start with simple questions like "Fave food" or "Fave movie" you can then after about 5 or so questions of back and forth you can go into "Fave color" "panties or thongs" "thongs or g string ;D" if she's cool she'll answer and laugh / giggle a bit. You can then make the joke "ahhh so (enter color here) (enter undies here) eh ;D, little bit of a ruffle on them maybe =p" and she's going to take it as a joke, which is good thats what you want. If she says something like "Your such a pervert" but is smiling, just say "Oh common you know you like it =p" but if she looks mad o.O run.
(08-17-2011, 10:24 AM)Kom Wrote: [ -> ]I'm exactly like you to be honest, up until I got a girlfriend no girl would talk to me unless absolutely necessary. I mean, I did have quite a few friends who were girls but we were just friends, when I talk about no girls talking to me I mean potential girlfriends. Don't feel pressured into sex by the way, when you're ready or the time comes it will happen. In all honesty I'm 20 and still a virgin, I've had plenty opportunities but they were never really right. You shouldn't have sex, just to have sex you know what I mean?
There isn't much you can do, but if you really want a girlfriend or a girl to talk too you need to be more approachable, maybe even a little more aggressive in your flirting. Now I don't mean to go as far as "Hey let's just sex right here" or like "Let me rip your panties off ;D) no no no lol that's all the wrong way. What I mean is to not be afraid to ask or even just talk / mess around. If your talking to a girl and your sitting down, start to play footsie with her, then make it sound like shes the one doing it. She's probably going to get a little defensive and say shes not the one, but it's all fun so she's joking around and laughing when she's doing it. That's a good ice breaker for physical contact. That opens the night to a whole of possibilities (or may end badly, every girl is different but the lot of them will laugh about it and allow you to touch them after that). With flirting don't come on too strong, I have a friend that just says whats on his mind to a girl... and it always ends badly. We would be in a skype call and a girl would join one day, she would leave and immediately after he would tell me he's in love with her (Yea I know right?) the next day he'll talk to her alone and just creep her out because he comes on way too strong. He would use words like love right away (Don't ever do that), he'll tell her things she doesn't need to know....Pretty much what I'm getting at, is don't treat her like your mother >.> lol Don't treat her like a long time love that you've married type thing. Don't scare her off with the heavy words like love. Just act natural, and talk... after joking around for a bit, if you want it to get a little intimate you can start with like a 20 questions game (When you two are alone - this works for me some how idk) but start with simple questions like "Fave food" or "Fave movie" you can then after about 5 or so questions of back and forth you can go into "Fave color" "panties or thongs" "thongs or g string ;D" if she's cool she'll answer and laugh / giggle a bit. You can then make the joke "ahhh so (enter color here) (enter undies here) eh ;D, little bit of a ruffle on them maybe =p" and she's going to take it as a joke, which is good thats what you want. If she says something like "Your such a pervert" but is smiling, just say "Oh common you know you like it =p" but if she looks mad o.O run.
Thanks for the tips
. I had couple of opportunities but I don't want a one night stand. Sex actually doesn't mean a lot to me. It's good and all, but I want a girl that I could love, not just because of her tits xD.
I have a couple of girl friends and all, but never managed to get a girlfriend. I rarely start up the conversation with some unknown girl, due to the fact it sounds weird to me. But if I meet one, we always get along good and everything, but most of the time I bump into the type of girls where instead of getting together, I end up in being their personal psychiatrist and a friend lol. If only I could start not giving a fudge and doing what I want, that would be great. I personally suck at flirting due to the fact that I either don't flirt "dirty" enough or I go too far. To me, starting even a small random chat on Facebook with a random girl I met maybe 2 times in my life sounds weird and I don't know what to talk about. In real life it's easier for me, but as I said, at the end I always get stuck in the friend zone :S. I remember once, a friend of mine told me (girl): "Dude, why are you so upset about it. If you really want to get a girlfriend, you need to start putting more effort into it.". Well, I get what she wants to say but I can't break that first "wall" of asking them for coffee or crap, cause I'm not that self-confident about these things and I can't figure them out lol. Any tips in overcoming this initial fear? In the last two days I've seen hot girls going out with big fat geeks ffs, that got my mind thinking, what the fudge am I doing lol?
Do fun stuff with your friends. You will meet people from doing everyday activities. Just act as if you're happy and talk to them. You have to approach them and then you will get signs whether they are interested in you or not.
I shouldn't worry about it too much, I'm 17 and haven't had a partner in around 3 years and it bothers me too. Especially when I look at my best mate and he has got a new girl friend every month. It's confusing, I know. But you just have to be patient, you are sure to meet the right women sooner or later
Until then though, just hang on in there. Something will be sure to pop up, that's all I'm waiting for.
-Hope this helped, if not tell me more and I'll sure reply.
(08-17-2011, 05:14 PM)Chocothunda Wrote: [ -> ]Do fun stuff with your friends. You will meet people from doing everyday activities. Just act as if you're happy and talk to them. You have to approach them and then you will get signs whether they are interested in you or not.
Yeah, only if most of my friends weren't such a no-lifers. Most of them do either a) gaming whole day or playing soccer and talking about games or b) drinking in every single occasion we are. It's not that I go around on social events lol, most of the time I'm in the "hood" so to say, just waiting for the day to pass lol.
(08-17-2011, 05:31 PM)BreShiE Wrote: [ -> ]I shouldn't worry about it too much, I'm 17 and haven't had a partner in around 3 years and it bothers me too. Especially when I look at my best mate and he has got a new girl friend every month. It's confusing, I know. But you just have to be patient, you are sure to meet the right women sooner or later
Until then though, just hang on in there. Something will be sure to pop up, that's all I'm waiting for.
-Hope this helped, if not tell me more and I'll sure reply.
Well, I guess I'm tired of waiting. If only I could get over this "fear" I've been having. I experienced rejection couple of times, I know I won't die or anything if I get "no" for the answer, but again I always chicken out lol.
I used to be like this, but one day I just said screw it and asked a girl I liked out. In my luck she said yes. If I were you, I would try and meet some new friends. If all they do is sit at home find some friends who go to parties or hang out a lot. And as for the kissing thing, you really shouldn't be worried about that. A lot of people don't have their first kiss until late teens/early 20's.
If you hung around with them for too long, without asking them out or anything, they might have just decided to put you in the friend zone.
But that's only if you waited months to ask someone out.