07-27-2011, 04:01 AM
FINALLY FOUND AN ANNOYMUS PLACE TO POST!
HERE GOES.....
Please someone help! This is long but please read it I'm desperate! Please!
My girlfriend is really messed up and I don't know how to stop her.
Heres the situation:
We got together by me stupidly leaving my ex...
So when we broke up obviously my ex kept getting in touch heartbroken. Which my new girlfriend was having none of.
But my ex wouldn't stop so i in desperation at having been had a go at by my new girlfriend CONSTANTLY - lied and said she was no longer in touch when she was. So soon this was found out and I'm now a liar.
Also, when i broke up with my ex and before i got with my new girlfriend, i kissed a girl in a club. So now I'm a cheat.
Also according to her i stare at ALL girls. ALL of them. ALL the time. I now have to walk with my head looking at the ground, even looking up to see where I'm going is a risky venture.
So to more of my crimes...
I gave out about her and her mad ways to my friends, now my friends are black listed and I haven't seem them in two years which is breaking my heart no end. I love my friends, i grew up with them and they are amazing people who don't deserve this. They haven't even gotten an explanation as to why i've not seen them.Its sick!!!
I got a new PSP and was sitting getting the internet working on it. Had a newspaper on my lap at the time and for some reason decided to google the female celebrity who was on the opened up page. Bad move. PSP banned and newspapers now banned too.
So with all this i kinda loathe her because on top of this she wont leave me alone. not for one second. Literally. If i haven't texted her back with in three minutes i get this on my phone "what is going on????" Even when in work. So needless to say it was pissing my co workers off constantly being on the phone. Its now a running joke in work..."guess who's on the phone again hahaha"
I know in some ways I'm my own worst enemy. For instance my last two crimes. Considering how much i was depressed with things i didn't want to be intimate with my girlfriend. So one night, home alone I went on the internet...i owned up to it, said I did it and why. Internet banned,staring at things in her eyes totally confirmed.
Also at wits end with depression (imagine living your life with your phone always in your hand relaying what your doing) When she was gone out to work i'd say i was still asleep so i wouldn't have to text, a blessed break! I'd sit and watch star trek with a mug of tea for an hour. An hour of peace! Bad move! one day i used my PSP to play a game and left the cover out by accident. I explained why but now when i sleep i have to use the voice recorder function on my phone to tape the sound of me sleeping!!! Same when anyone in work talks to me. They're taped. PSP smashed to bits.
So to sum up my life at the moment:
1: I have NO friends. Im a loner at work. Talking to people is too much trouble. I either have to be texting her while someone is talking to me(i cant have a conversation with anyone) or now i have to tape them talking to me which is sick.
2: I can't watch anything on TV without her being with me, and generally its only documentaries. Anything that might have women in it, forget it. So you can imagine that somewhat limits the scope. Cinema is out.
3: I cant look ahead when out walking, must look at my feet as i go. Same sitting anywhere or doing anything. Looking at her or the ground. If I'm driving, fine i have to look out, if for instance i was in a taxi and looked out the window, I'd be labelled staring. So i look at my feet.
4: I must text what I'm doing, feeling and thinking every two minutes when I'm not with her or there is war. When I'm really just too busy to text, I must record the sound in the room for her to listen to when i come home. I must now record EVERY person that talks to me.
5: I must be talking about how great she is and how beautiful she is and how I'm not interested in anyone else every couple of minutes otherwise there is a fight.
6: She is never wrong. Not once in 2 or 3 years has she ever admitted at being at fault for anything. If she is wrong, i get "You should have known I'd feel this way and being understanding" Prey tell, how would you under stand someone who sends what's going on messages to her boyfriend and freaks out for having to stay in a waiting room when i was in hospital with my mother who was having a heart attack? My mother was in being basically saved and this git was complaining of being left in the waiting room and not getting text messages every two minutes as she wasn't allowed in!!!!!
7: Not allowed read newspapers (or even look or notice them) not allowed use the internet, unless i ask permission and say everything I'm doing on it.
Leave her you stupid man i hear you cry! Here lies the rub.
While all this has been happening she's been fighting an illness, an infection. When she's ok with me she seems to improve and get better, but she can never stay ok with me for long because she as you can see from above she makes life impossible to live. Time is critical with this infection and its near end game for it now so im putting up with all this best i can to try help her better so this infection dosn't do the damage its threatening. I just want her to shut up making life so difficult and get better rather than making things impossible and them blaming me for the fall out and her ill health!
So you can see, i feel if i said your nuts and i cant stand you, im leaving, I 'd make her worse, her infection would take advantage of her stress (when she gets upset she really gets upset-hours of crying, shaking from low blood pressure-madness) and infection would win. Ideally i want her to get better and get lost but i cant get hr better as shes acting demented. Now im loosing my reason and i dont know a way out!
Please help, Im so close to ending it all the only way i have left and i dont want to, i know i could live a happy life
HERE GOES.....
Please someone help! This is long but please read it I'm desperate! Please!
My girlfriend is really messed up and I don't know how to stop her.
Heres the situation:
We got together by me stupidly leaving my ex...
So when we broke up obviously my ex kept getting in touch heartbroken. Which my new girlfriend was having none of.
But my ex wouldn't stop so i in desperation at having been had a go at by my new girlfriend CONSTANTLY - lied and said she was no longer in touch when she was. So soon this was found out and I'm now a liar.
Also, when i broke up with my ex and before i got with my new girlfriend, i kissed a girl in a club. So now I'm a cheat.
Also according to her i stare at ALL girls. ALL of them. ALL the time. I now have to walk with my head looking at the ground, even looking up to see where I'm going is a risky venture.
So to more of my crimes...
I gave out about her and her mad ways to my friends, now my friends are black listed and I haven't seem them in two years which is breaking my heart no end. I love my friends, i grew up with them and they are amazing people who don't deserve this. They haven't even gotten an explanation as to why i've not seen them.Its sick!!!
I got a new PSP and was sitting getting the internet working on it. Had a newspaper on my lap at the time and for some reason decided to google the female celebrity who was on the opened up page. Bad move. PSP banned and newspapers now banned too.
So with all this i kinda loathe her because on top of this she wont leave me alone. not for one second. Literally. If i haven't texted her back with in three minutes i get this on my phone "what is going on????" Even when in work. So needless to say it was pissing my co workers off constantly being on the phone. Its now a running joke in work..."guess who's on the phone again hahaha"
I know in some ways I'm my own worst enemy. For instance my last two crimes. Considering how much i was depressed with things i didn't want to be intimate with my girlfriend. So one night, home alone I went on the internet...i owned up to it, said I did it and why. Internet banned,staring at things in her eyes totally confirmed.
Also at wits end with depression (imagine living your life with your phone always in your hand relaying what your doing) When she was gone out to work i'd say i was still asleep so i wouldn't have to text, a blessed break! I'd sit and watch star trek with a mug of tea for an hour. An hour of peace! Bad move! one day i used my PSP to play a game and left the cover out by accident. I explained why but now when i sleep i have to use the voice recorder function on my phone to tape the sound of me sleeping!!! Same when anyone in work talks to me. They're taped. PSP smashed to bits.
So to sum up my life at the moment:
1: I have NO friends. Im a loner at work. Talking to people is too much trouble. I either have to be texting her while someone is talking to me(i cant have a conversation with anyone) or now i have to tape them talking to me which is sick.
2: I can't watch anything on TV without her being with me, and generally its only documentaries. Anything that might have women in it, forget it. So you can imagine that somewhat limits the scope. Cinema is out.
3: I cant look ahead when out walking, must look at my feet as i go. Same sitting anywhere or doing anything. Looking at her or the ground. If I'm driving, fine i have to look out, if for instance i was in a taxi and looked out the window, I'd be labelled staring. So i look at my feet.
4: I must text what I'm doing, feeling and thinking every two minutes when I'm not with her or there is war. When I'm really just too busy to text, I must record the sound in the room for her to listen to when i come home. I must now record EVERY person that talks to me.
5: I must be talking about how great she is and how beautiful she is and how I'm not interested in anyone else every couple of minutes otherwise there is a fight.
6: She is never wrong. Not once in 2 or 3 years has she ever admitted at being at fault for anything. If she is wrong, i get "You should have known I'd feel this way and being understanding" Prey tell, how would you under stand someone who sends what's going on messages to her boyfriend and freaks out for having to stay in a waiting room when i was in hospital with my mother who was having a heart attack? My mother was in being basically saved and this git was complaining of being left in the waiting room and not getting text messages every two minutes as she wasn't allowed in!!!!!
7: Not allowed read newspapers (or even look or notice them) not allowed use the internet, unless i ask permission and say everything I'm doing on it.
Leave her you stupid man i hear you cry! Here lies the rub.
While all this has been happening she's been fighting an illness, an infection. When she's ok with me she seems to improve and get better, but she can never stay ok with me for long because she as you can see from above she makes life impossible to live. Time is critical with this infection and its near end game for it now so im putting up with all this best i can to try help her better so this infection dosn't do the damage its threatening. I just want her to shut up making life so difficult and get better rather than making things impossible and them blaming me for the fall out and her ill health!
So you can see, i feel if i said your nuts and i cant stand you, im leaving, I 'd make her worse, her infection would take advantage of her stress (when she gets upset she really gets upset-hours of crying, shaking from low blood pressure-madness) and infection would win. Ideally i want her to get better and get lost but i cant get hr better as shes acting demented. Now im loosing my reason and i dont know a way out!
Please help, Im so close to ending it all the only way i have left and i dont want to, i know i could live a happy life