Look, I've had my (current?) girlfriend for a couple of months now. She's great, I do love her. Yeah yeah, it's impossible to tell after a couple of months; I'm no stranger to psychology.
There's another girl (let's call her girl 2) that I've been chasing after for a long time. She pretty much dropped off the course when I met this girl (my current girlfriend).
All has been swell, up until a week or so ago when I started talking to girl 2 more than usual. She just broke up with her boyfriend, and was flirting with me. Yeah I get it, she's lonely and she wants someone; that's exactly what I kept telling her.
I gave in.
We went out to see a movie last night. Afterwards, she stayed the night. We didn't have sex, but we made out a lot, and we slept together. We made a promise that we wouldn't talk about it ever again.
The next day I saw my girlfriend, and apart from the stinging sense of guilt, all went well. We hung out for the day, and I took her home.
The guilt finally kicked in. I had to tell her. She's pissed right now, and we've been talking about it for the past 4-ish hours.
I don't know why I did it. I can honestly say that no thought-out or logical decisions were made. It was all emotional.
I love my girlfriend, and she satisfies me in every way. I thought that she was enough for me, and I still feel the same.
I'm stuck. I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago, and this is the only thing that's really keeping me afloat. I want to fix this, and I'd do anything to do so.
Please, I want real advice. I don't want replies from a teenager that thinks his experience with 'the one' is enough to go by. Today isn't your time to shine. If you have a level-headed understanding of this stuff, please help out.
Its over with now, it is in the past, live your life in the future. If you want your future to be with her then you need to show that to her. You did fudge up, but it can still be fixed. Best of luck to whatever you choose to do.
See if your girlfriend will forgive you, if not you can always move on to the other girl.
The best thing you can do Is to come clean and be honest with her. If she breaks up with her, at least you were honest. Lies stack up on top of each other, and create a big mess and then if she finds out you cheated and lied about it, there is a greater chance that she will not forgive you. Best of luck, I know this is a tricky situation to be in!
(07-08-2011, 11:33 PM)specizripn Wrote: [ -> ]The best thing you can do Is to come clean and be honest with her. If she breaks up with her, at least you were honest. Lies stack up on top of each other, and create a big mess and then if she finds out you cheated and lied about it, there is a greater chance that she will not forgive you. Best of luck, I know this is a tricky situation to be in!
He already mentioned that he told his girlfriend about it. I could see why she's mad though.
And:
Quote:If she breaks up with her
What?
I don't think I read anything about Lesbian action in the first post lol.
All jokes aside, what is going to happen between you and girl #2 now? If that was just a phase, then you should really think about what you just did, and was it worth it? No one should be hurt in that kind of way. Love is for loyalty.
Talk to girl #2 in private about the situation and see the way she feels about the situation, and what happened. But don't put the blame on anyone else but yourself for this. There is a thing called self control.
Lastly, try being sincere, send your "girlfriend" some flowers. Do things for her to show that you really do care. Things that you normally wouldn't do so that you can get her approval of your "apology" and hopefully things work out from there. If you get back on track again, things should settle out as long as you promise your loyalty to her, and you'll have a stronger bond than before. (Just basic laws of human nature and philosophy)
You're going to really have to pull yourself together though. Try sending her flowers, giving her calls (if she doesn't answer, leave a voice-mail. Don't be pushy, but be persistent, in that you want to talk it over with her. If that time comes, be as open as you can with her, take the blame for what you did, recognize her side of the story and think about how she's feeling. Make a promise to her that you'll never do it again (whether she believes you or not, you have to believe in what you say for your own self as well).
In the end, you still need to talk about it. That's your only connection with her right now, and communication is key. Be completely open with her if you get that chance person to person.
It was a great thing that you did tell her, and not keep secrets from her. I would sit down and have a deep chat with her about it.
Explain that you messed up, but you manned up and told her which most people wouldn't have done.
If she truly loves you, she'll understand and hopefully want to be with you. If not, accept your consequences but still ask to remain friends.
If you do break up, maybe chase girl #2 again.
(07-09-2011, 03:07 AM)Chick-Fil-A Wrote: [ -> ]It was a great thing that you did tell her, and not keep secrets from her. I would sit down and have a deep chat with her about it.
Explain that you messed up, but you manned up and told her which most people wouldn't have done.
If she truly loves you, she'll understand and hopefully want to be with you. If not, accept your consequences but still ask to remain friends.
If you do break up, maybe chase girl #2 again.
That's the way abusers begin their debate about the "love me or not" thing. Love is a derogatory term. It's not just given to the person. And I could see how feelings could change after her commitment to him had brought them towards this predicament.
In another sense, if you were to turn that around, you would wonder "If the guy really loves the girl, then why is he off with some other girl?"
Can't always expect things to work out based on the word "Love" though.
(07-09-2011, 01:42 AM)Ace Wrote: [ -> ]He already mentioned that he told his girlfriend about it. I could see why she's mad though.
And:
Quote:If she breaks up with her
What?
I don't think I read anything about Lesbian action in the first post lol.
All jokes aside, what is going to happen between you and girl #2 now? If that was just a phase, then you should really think about what you just did, and was it worth it? No one should be hurt in that kind of way. Love is for loyalty.
Talk to girl #2 in private about the situation and see the way she feels about the situation, and what happened. But don't put the blame on anyone else but yourself for this. There is a thing called self control.
Lastly, try being sincere, send your "girlfriend" some flowers. Do things for her to show that you really do care. Things that you normally wouldn't do so that you can get her approval of your "apology" and hopefully things work out from there. If you get back on track again, things should settle out as long as you promise your loyalty to her, and you'll have a stronger bond than before. (Just basic laws of human nature and philosophy)
You're going to really have to pull yourself together though. Try sending her flowers, giving her calls (if she doesn't answer, leave a voice-mail. Don't be pushy, but be persistent, in that you want to talk it over with her. If that time comes, be as open as you can with her, take the blame for what you did, recognize her side of the story and think about how she's feeling. Make a promise to her that you'll never do it again (whether she believes you or not, you have to believe in what you say for your own self as well).
In the end, you still need to talk about it. That's your only connection with her right now, and communication is key. Be completely open with her if you get that chance person to person.
Ace is right, his advice is best. Communication is the key dude. If you want her back, make sure you make it clear you're taking full blame on this. That she's the only one for you. Show her you love her. Ace basically put down everything you need to do. Good Luck!
(07-09-2011, 03:42 AM)Ace Wrote: [ -> ]That's the way abusers begin their debate about the "love me or not" thing. Love is a derogatory term. It's not just given to the person. And I could see how feelings could change after her commitment to him had brought them towards this predicament.
In another sense, if you were to turn that around, you would wonder "If the guy really loves the girl, then why is he off with some other girl?"
Can't always expect things to work out based on the word "Love" though.
Actually, you could expect things to work out based on "Love".
Everyone makes mistakes, and in this case, they love each other. And true lovers understand and work out problems and try to fix it.
That's my definition of loving someone.
Cheating is not the right thing to do. I mean, I remember when a mate of mine cheated on his girl and he then asked me if he should commit suicide. Of course he is a good friend of mine and I convinced him to not take that decision.