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Hey SF. I come to you today bearing all I have. I need support, and I need advice.

[CA] = California

My name is Ron (19) [CA], her name is Alexa (17) [CA]. We have known each other for almost 4 years. We had a past relationship, lasted 2 years. She went to Utah to finish High School, stayed for a year and a half. We wrote letters back and forth on an irregular but close to monthly basis. I saw her 3 times during that time span when she visited family. Our conversations got deeper those 3 times, the final time ending in her saying she loved me. The hook was that she is not ready for a relationship, because when she finishes High School she will be moving back to California she will need to get her life in order.

Skip forward until graduation.

She graduated from High School on the 14th, and moved back to California and arrived last night.

I love her with all that I am, no doubts about it. It's love, head-over-heels. I feel so blind, I mean with the average girl I can generally tell if someone likes me. Not with her. I can't tell anything and I am scared shitless.

I can't shake this feeling that she is making her decision currently, and I feel like I am on shaky ground. I feel so lost, and my feelings are tearing me apart.

How do I bring the subject up? Not necessarily love itself, but how I feel? I have some guilt I need to get off my chest (I was a dick when we broke up 2 years ago, but we have forgiven each other) and I want to express my regret and give her assurance it will not happen again.

I want to tell her I love her. I am scared. I have never felt this way before... please help SF.

For now, I would give her some breathing room. She obviously has feelings for you, if she told you that she loves you. I believe that this long-distance relationship for her is difficult, which is why she is taking the extra time. Give her some time, and let her gather her thoughts. As for you, relaxation is key. You sound stressed out, guilty, etc. Relieve this stress by exercising, reading a book, taking a nap. To express your condolences, just show her your true emotions; that you love her, and you regret your actions. Don't let these things get under your skin, as only time will tell.

(04-18-2011, 12:04 AM)Deltron Wrote: [ -> ]For now, I would give her some breathing room. She obviously has feelings for you, if she told you that she loves you. I believe that this long-distance relationship for her is difficult, which is why she is taking the extra time. Give her some time, and let her gather her thoughts. As for you, relaxation is key. You sound stressed out, guilty, etc. Relieve this stress by exercising, reading a book, taking a nap. To express your condolences, just show her your true emotions; that you love her, and you regret your actions. Don't let these things get under your skin, as only time will tell.

It's not long distance anymore. And as for long distance when she was in Utah, just casual letters. I try to keep calm, but just everything is crashing together it seems like and I... don't even know what to say right now

I am within bike-riding distance. My plan is to hop over this week and calmly ask for a walk. Start off with light talking and just say how I feel without going too deep or putting pressure on her... thoughts?

I think that is a great idea. May I emphasize to not get too hyped up during the conversation. Calmly let her know how you feel, and you should get a response from her. Even a phone call would do the job. But, in the mean time, try not to get too stressed out over this predicament. Good luck; let us know if you need any further support.

Don't come on too strong, perhaps just tell her something like "I never did get over you..." or similar, generally just going up to girls and telling them you're in love, epescially when you aren't currently in a relationship with them, only works in movies.

(04-18-2011, 07:13 AM)Swat Runs Train Wrote: [ -> ]Don't come on too strong, perhaps just tell her something like "I never did get over you..." or similar, generally just going up to girls and telling them you're in love, epescially when you aren't currently in a relationship with them, only works in movies.

My plan is still just to ride up to her house, knock on the door and just ask for a walk. I know not to come on too strongly, which will take work on my part. I feel like I wear my heart on my sleeve when I talk to her. I have a hard time holding back my feelings with her.

Anyone been through this situation and it turned out well for them? If so, please share

Do not rush, as she said she needs to sort out her life when she gets back to her home. But, when the time is right, everything is in a good flow, do it. Make sure you are absolute with your decision.