Well yesterday my grandma passed away. Quite sad, but that's what happens when you have one lung left, and gets an infection in it.
Spent whole yesterday trying to comfort my grandad who's 85, with my family.
Atleast she got rid of the pain she suffered, and atleast she died in her bed.
I just hope that my grandad will be alright for some more time, he's sick though, but i hope he makes it a bit longer, for his family.
She was a great grandma, and she'll be missed forever, by everyone who knew her.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad you seem to be doing alright and understand that this is a part of life.
RIP
I wish the best for your family and hope your grandfather gets healthy.
Do you need any help yourself with the parting or would you like advice on how to comfort your grandpa?
(03-13-2011, 12:17 PM)Laugh Wrote: [ -> ]Do you need any help yourself with the parting or would you like advice on how to comfort your grandpa?
Well i don't know. Im quite alright even though i was really close to both of my grandparents. I grew up side by side with them and stuff.
But i don't really know why im so alright with it. It is the first death within the family that should affect me. But..
(03-13-2011, 12:21 PM)Zyx Wrote: [ -> ]Well i don't know. Im quite alright even though i was really close to both of my grandparents. I grew up side by side with them and stuff.
But i don't really know why im so alright with it. It is the first death within the family that should affect me. But..
Ah, careful. You were good at covering it up. Make sure you don't bottle anything up. Really, if this passing was someone close to you, you will need to open up. It is effecting you but you just don't want it to. For a few reasons possibly. One of them being you're a selfless person and you want to comfort everyone else before yourself. Your family in this situation.
Remember that just like you're there comforting your family they are there for you as well. If you're not ready to let out your emotions now, you should soon. This isn't something that you want to bottle up and then effect you some way in the future. You don't want to have to dig years from now to find out what's causing some kind of stress in your life and have it lead to this.
So, do you actually feel anything after this passing? Or are you truly not effected by it?
(03-13-2011, 12:25 PM)-paradox- Wrote: [ -> ]Ah, careful. You were good at covering it up. Make sure you don't bottle anything up. Really, if this passing was someone close to you, you will need to open up. It is effecting you but you just don't want it to. For a few reasons possibly. One of them being you're a selfless person and you want to comfort everyone else before yourself. Your family in this situation.
Remember that just like you're there comforting your family they are there for you as well. If you're not ready to let out your emotions now, you should soon. This isn't something that you want to bottle up and then effect you some way in the future. You don't want to have to dig years from now to find out what's causing some kind of stress in your life and have it lead to this.
So, do you actually feel anything after this passing? Or are you truly not effected by it?
Yeah well, recently i cried a little, for the first time in a long time. I didn't even cry when i saw her dead body.
But the reason why i cried now was mostly a mix between my grandma passing away and my best friend being suicidal and she's talking about it a lot.
But i don't really think im that affected by it. I mean, i've thought about death a lot during the past 5 years, so i guess i understand it quite good.
Sure, i miss her. Sure it's sad and so, but im just not crying. Somehow im a bit happy that she finally got out of this pain, she won't need any medicine every single day anymore, and so on.
It's sad, of course. Death is always sad. But i don't think grandma would even want us to be sad when she's freed from the pain.
Very mature way of looking at it. Don't let trying to be extremely realistic get in the way of your emotions though. I'm the same way. My grandfather is basically on his death bed right now and we're just kind of waiting for him to pass. He wants to just go already. It is selfish to be sad and miss the person since that person is no longer "suffering" but it's a part of our nature to be selfish sometimes.
If you are doing ok, and you really believe that. You don't need to make yourself cry or anything. I'm not saying force yourself to care, I'm saying it's ok to care.
How old are you?
(03-13-2011, 12:35 PM)-paradox- Wrote: [ -> ]Very mature way of looking at it. Don't let trying to be extremely realistic get in the way of your emotions though. I'm the same way. My grandfather is basically on his death bed right now and we're just kind of waiting for him to pass. He wants to just go already. It is selfish to be sad and miss the person since that person is no longer "suffering" but it's a part of our nature to be selfish sometimes.
If you are doing ok, and you really believe that. You don't need to make yourself cry or anything. I'm not saying force yourself to care, I'm saying it's ok to care.
How old are you?
Well, im 17, turning 18 this year. So...
And im a sensitive guy, have a lot of problems in my life. Maybe that's why i didn't have any major problems getting over this so fast. Though im not totally over it yet, but.
I highly doubt you're over it, I feel like you haven't even gotten around to it yet. Almost like it's being avoided. I mean, it's wrong of me to make assumptions of me on a forum because I don't know you or your life. I can't read your emotions through text or anything like that so I may be off. More often than not though, death of a close relative doesn't go without emotional burden. You might be saying you're getting over it or that it doesn't effect you because of denial? You may know that it's effecting you but going on the forums and saying you're doing great might be your way of trying to lie to yourself? Or you really might be alright with this.
There isn't really a way for us to know but remember to open up to your family as well. Don't tell them it's not effecting you if it isn't. If the thought ever crosses your mind however, that you may be bottling this up or avoiding it. That's what you should tell your family. Your happiness is what should matter most to you now, not what your Grandmother would want.
If you want to get over it, you have to face it first. You can't get over something you're going around.
(03-13-2011, 12:48 PM)-paradox- Wrote: [ -> ]I highly doubt you're over it, I feel like you haven't even gotten around to it yet. Almost like it's being avoided. I mean, it's wrong of me to make assumptions of me on a forum because I don't know you or your life. I can't read your emotions through text or anything like that so I may be off. More often than not though, death of a close relative doesn't go without emotional burden. You might be saying you're getting over it or that it doesn't effect you because of denial? You may know that it's effecting you but going on the forums and saying you're doing great might be your way of trying to lie to yourself? Or you really might be alright with this.
There isn't really a way for us to know but remember to open up to your family as well. Don't tell them it's not effecting you if it isn't. If the thought ever crosses your mind however, that you may be bottling this up or avoiding it. That's what you should tell your family. Your happiness is what should matter most to you now, not what your Grandmother would want.
If you want to get over it, you have to face it first. You can't get over something you're going around.
Im not really trying to hide it or anything. Im not denying that she's gone, i realize that she's dead, and won't be back, ever.
Im quite sure that im alright with it. I thought it was weird even yesterday when i didn't feel anything at all. It was like she was still there, it's crazy i know. But it still feels like that. Like she'd be with me.
Though my family has always been a bit weird when it comes to dead people.