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Full Version: Best friend to friends with benefits to girlfriend, breakup?
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Here's the story,
So after I broke up with my ex in the summer, a new girl has came into my life and eventually became my best friend because she was there whenever I needed support whether it be with school work or emotional help. As our "best friend" relationship continued to grow we eventually became friends with benefits and finally we basically asked each other out, kind of. This all happened in the span of 2 months since my breakup in the summer. Now I'm going to admit that she is a wonderful best friend, but I'm not really attracted to her. Some of my friends says I can do better, but I don't want to hurt her feelings if I break up with her because she got me through so much and without her I wouldn't have been to where I am today. I want to go back to best friend level, but I'm scared that won't happen. What should I do?

*She is one of the nicest people I've ever known, and I'm not just saying that.
*She is an amazing girlfriend, but I'm just not attracted.
*She loves me a lot.
*Again, she is the ideal girlfriend.
If you aren't attracted to her, then why did you accept her asking you out anyways? I'm sure there was some sort of attraction there other than the fact she was having sex with you while still on a friendly level.
Look, you wouldn't have gone out with her if she was UGLY.

If you really want to break it up you can try telling he. "Look, I want to be friends. It's not you, it's not me. I just don't want to go too deep into this and lose what we had."

Or you can stick it out.
It was part sexual attraction and part not wanting to lose her because her other friend liked her. I guess I had some sort of attraction, but it wasn't a lot.
You sir are experiencing peer pressure. From the time your friends say " you can do better" you will never look at her the same again because what your friend has said is apparently more important than what you think. Well that's what I'm getting from your post.

If she is the ideal girlfriend why no attraction?
I think you just need to make up your mind. Is breaking up what you want? Or is it what you feel you must do to pursue something better to please your friends?
I detect that it's because of his friends, and to make them happy rather than focus on himself. Just a hunch, now that you've pointed it out.
Well as it seems you got yourself into deep crap right now,

you'll have to MAKE her want to be just "best friends" so I suggest you keep acting like a best friend rather then a BF.
Do you have any feelings for her?
I think I do, but it's more of a best friend feeling, not really girlfriend-boyfriend feeling.
(12-25-2010, 10:30 AM)SleepyTroll Wrote: [ -> ]You sir are experiencing peer pressure. From the time your friends say " you can do better" you will never look at her the same again...

I agree with this wholeheartedly. It's only natural to want to do the best that you can.

As a general rule, once you hit the level of "friends with benefits", it's incredibly hard, if not impossible, to go back to being just friends because the emotions will always be there.
One party will contemplate the reasons behind the others change of mind.

It's unfortunate, but this is part of relationships. Occasionally you just decide that you don't like someone as much - even if it is due to peer pressure.
And this change of heart leads to a breaking of hearts, but it's something everyone needs to go. In my opinion it helps build stronger, healthier emotions..most of the time.

The hard part here is loosing her as a friend..
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