Okay, I may be good at hacking (which I don't talk about on SF in detail) and programming, which means i'm a noob in this emotional support area pretty much haha. I know phychology, but I analyse things a lot, because thats what programmers do.
I know this girl, that I have seen a few times, but i've never actually talked to her, found her in the suggestions on my facebook, so I added her, and haven't talked to her yet still because I believe that facebook is not a "proper" way to talk to someone. I'm a bit shy if I was to just go talk to her, so i'm wondering what I should do?
Its not that i'm not man enough to go talk to her, I just wouldn't know WHAT to talk about since I only see her around, never talked to her at all, and I don't know what her interests are or anything quite yet. It just would seem really weird for me to go up and talk to her randomly without even knowing her. So my first point was the question: Should I just start up a chat with her on facebook once about something? Then maybe next time I see her just smile and wave, then gradually start talking to her from there?
How do you get to know someone that you barely ever see, and you don't know much about them? I don't want to become a stalker, so lets keep that out of the question lol. I hope I worded this all right, I'm trying to think of how my exact situation is right now. I don't know any of her friends either, so I also though it would be pretty random to just go up to her and say "Hi".
Any suggestions are welcome. I'm a pretty fair looking guy, my confidence is alright if I know I have to do something. But I analyse things this way, and it's the one thing thats stopping me right now until I have a plan.
Help is appreciated
I would call, text, or even talk to her more on Facebook, there are a lot of ways today to keep in touch with somebody.
(10-02-2010, 11:03 PM)tsgh mike Wrote: [ -> ]I would call, text, or even talk to her more on Facebook, there are a lot of ways today to keep in touch with somebody.
I don't know her phone number though lol. But if I take your advice I could try talking to her on facebook, or just make a comment on one of her statuses to start up some conversation.
Yes, just contact her on facebook first. Comment on her status, comment on her pictures, videos and so on, until she has already responded to like 3 comments of yours, then hit her up on facebook chat, and start a conversation about something, if you don't really know what, talk about a status of hers or something and then on school, whenever you see her for like 3 days, say HI, and then, after all this, just find the right moment and just stop her on school and just ask her how she is doing, what classes she goes and stuff like that.
I have the exact problems actually, I tend to over analyze things too, which ends up holding me back.
Good luck man. I'm currently having the same problem too, and the girl does not use facebook so it's harder for me, a bit.
(10-03-2010, 02:19 PM)Hawkins Wrote: [ -> ]Yes, just contact her on facebook first. Comment on her status, comment on her pictures, videos and so on, until she has already responded to like 3 comments of yours, then hit her up on facebook chat, and start a conversation about something, if you don't really know what, talk about a status of hers or something and then on school, whenever you see her for like 3 days, say HI, and then, after all this, just find the right moment and just stop her on school and just ask her how she is doing, what classes she goes and stuff like that.
I have the exact problems actually, I tend to over analyze things too, which ends up holding me back.
Good luck man. I'm currently having the same problem too, and the girl does not use facebook so it's harder for me, a bit.
hey buddy, thanks for the good advice here
found this the most helpful and i'm going to take this into consideration. I was thinking somewhere along these lines, just me analysing things, needed confirmation about doing this lol.
Thanks again ! hope things work out good for you
Yeah... You know I blew my opportunity with a girl I loved because I think she thought Facebook was an informal way of contacting her... If shes that type of person that doesn't mind and is active on facebook often then sure talk to her from there, if not, she would rather not talk like that then simply walk up to her start something random with her and talk ask questions, not stalking like though, but engage in a conversation.
I have alot of the same problem, i am a programmer and just like you analyze things majorly and it holds me back. I actually just like you have the problem of a girl i like is hard to contact, except the girl i like is even more hard to contact because she doesnt even have a fb, and i am also fairly shy. I have my idea of getting there semi-early maybe about the same time as her and just start a conversation and just continue from there. My idea to you is comment on status exc, then start a fb convo then a irl convo and go from there.
(10-03-2010, 05:54 PM)R4GE_Xy-Cliche Wrote: [ -> ]I have alot of the same problem, i am a programmer and just like you analyze things majorly and it holds me back. I actually just like you have the problem of a girl i like is hard to contact, except the girl i like is even more hard to contact because she doesnt even have a fb, and i am also fairly shy. I have my idea of getting there semi-early maybe about the same time as her and just start a conversation and just continue from there. My idea to you is comment on status exc, then start a fb convo then a irl convo and go from there.
I've heard that from a few people now, and I agree that it's probably the best advice that i've been given here. Good way to START getting to know the girl. Then you can go from there as you've said
As for facebook, the girl deletes a lot of her comments and things off her profile and theres only 2 statuses and, her comment on another friend of hers photo, as well as it says I am now friends with her lol.
"Dubstep+Reggae on nights like this = ♥"
"Open a restaurant and put friendship on the menu"
And I have no idea what to write on any of them.. the restaurant one, I don't know her very well yet. So I didn't think I could write anything towards that, the other one i'm not sure. And if I make comments on her photos before I actually try commenting on a status that might be a little weird haha. She only has maybe 6 or 7 pictures of herself on there so I can't comment on a photo that has someone else in it to try and ease into a conversation with her at all.
I think we need Eve to step in on this conversation haha some expert advice
EDIT: Commented on lyrics to a song she posted. Now just to wait and see what she says
UPDATE: There are 8 people that like her status, and she deleted the comment that I made on it? I wrote "Good song " When I commented, I also pressed the "like" button.
What could that mean exactly? Theres not a whole lot of comments on her profile at all, and the ones that are still there (the ones she replied to) are ones from really close friends in her hometown and family.. Just found it pretty odd.
Any help? lol..
Ok here is my thoughts.
DONT BEGIN YOUR CONVERSATIONS WITH HERE ON FACEBOOK!!! I cant be any stronger in that. DONT!
Social interaction is completely different to net interaction as you clearly are aware already? Based on OP.
I know of kids that are best mates online yet at school they dont talk. <-- real problem there IMHO
Chicks (girls or woman) like to be heard. They want to be able to talk. More than they want to listen.
You need to be aware of that.
Go see her in person and say hello. No other commitments, just a hello next chance you get.
Then if she does not instigate a conversation you await the next time you meet.
Then ask her if its her on facebook. That gives her a topic she can talk about should she want to talk to you.
If she does start talking to you about that then let her talk. Ask her questions. Keep her talking until she asks you questions about yourself.
Now the reason i say for you to say hello to her first in public is because chicks like confidence in blokes.
This will show you are confident and polite.
Meeting the correct partner is a hard thing. Some are never able to do it!
You need to know this. You could talk to her and find you simply dont like her?
But you will never know if you dont try.
So go and say hello mate. Not much more. take it super slow. Consider her nothing more than a future mate.
Not a lover or girlfriend. Remove that from your thoughts for now. Just try make friends with her.
Let what ever else is to be to happen naturally.
Hope you snag this girl mate. <-- bad choice of words!