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Ok so i have been talking to my dad all day and i think that i will end up being homeless in 3 months or so, because,

im gonna be 21 in nov, and i still live at home cause it, i dont have a job, car, license, or anything of that nature, the thing is, my family has been going through a rough patch these past few years and hurting on money, my dad was a truck driver and he got laid off and has not been able to get a job since, because, he has a felony, from 22 years ago, and they are still holding that against him, due to the laws being tighter on semi drivers with cdl's he has his hazmat and a class A cdl, and this year he cant work anyways, cause he blew his knee out from his bike, and needs surgry, but wont till he is in his mid 50's he is only 43,
my mom dont work but she does go to school, has been for 8 years -.- her mom helps support her and everything she does in college, but she wont talk to anybody about what she has been doing there, besides her mom, who knows why, they keep it a big secret!

my 2 little sisters are still in school, no biggy there,

I will explain a bit on some things,
reason i never got my license is cause i never had the money to go to drivers ed, same with my sister, she is a nerd and really booksmart, was looking forward to getting her permit, but cant, no money, her friend just passed her test and got her's so i bet that maeks her feel crappy cause she could not get her's

and now that im over 18 i still didn't cause of no money or job still, i have TRIED so hard to find a freakin job but iv never heard anything back, so i gaveup for awhile, plus it dotn help i have body piercings, but thats why there are retainers

a few of my friends are the same as me with my age and no job, cause the way the economy is, and it sucks!

but for me it has been hard cause there is alot of problems within my family like talkin behind your back, lying nonstop, blackmail, and tons of other crap, and it always comes around i have both sides of my family talking behind my back 24/7. SO MUCH MORE

I dont have my diploma either, i was kicked out of school, iv yet to get my GED either, iv not been in school for 3 years, would have been 4 but i was held back a year in high school.

When i was in highschool i was gonan join the marine core, i was almsot 100% signed up, i was going to pt and tons of other stuff, shaved my LONG hair (regret it, but regrowin it out again) but i got kicked out of school so i ditched that idea as they require you to have your diploma, The Army only requires your GED but i kinda dumped the whole military thing after the marines blew over, it sucks cause iv always wanted to be a marine my whole life.

Ok long story short, this past year has been tough on me and iv not realyl opened up and told people as i dont do good with feelings, and i have anger issues which is not as bad as when i was in school( i was so aggressive) but since i stopped going to school i dont get in trouble anymore, that and my best friend has helped me alot, as a matter of fact she has helped me stop alot of things, and change things in my life,

The past year has also been tough on me mentally, but iv not told anybody this irl, i have changed alot and grown up this past year, even though my family dont think so, they all think im worthless (im serious! iv been told this many times)

im also in love with my best friend of 8 (almost 9 years), iv always had feelings for her but the past 2 years we have gotten ALOT closer, and ALOT of other stuff! but i dont want to get into this right now...

so anyways, my dad and i were talkin most of the day, since i wokeup, forget what time that was, but i think it was around 2:30

i ended up getting in a bad mood and haing a bad freakin headache from getting annoyed so much (been that way alot lately)
and logn story short, he said things are gonna be changing, my grandma is gonna be moving to florida later this year, and it seems it will be in 3 months, and she has been talkin to my mom about it (as they have been that way alot this year, keeping things secret)
and from what my dad told me, she wants us to move into her house or whatever, down in florida, and my dad said he is not going cause there are no truck driving jobs down there, my grandma said, go be a fishermen -.- he was not too happy about that, and has said he is not doing that, and i already said im not gonna move away from my best friends and im not gonna move into the same house as my grandma cause we have had some bad clashes this year, which was not even bad or meant torwards her but she took it the wrong way, now my moms whole side of the family knows and talks more about my back and looks down on me for the things i said (wont get into this right now either)

but anyways, so yea i said for all i care ill be homeless cause im not moving with them and i dont want to leave my friends, and my best friends, which i have know pretty much my whole life, my 2 best friends are like this,

the one i have know since we were both 2 (we are a month and 6 days apart) so he is my brother
the other has been my best friend since we were 12, and she is always there for me, as im there for her also.

but the thing is they dont live near me, they live an hour and a half away which sucks cause i dont drive -.-

So anyways, my dad even said it looks like ill be homeless if i dont do something with my life, and he dont want me to be homeless cause he said he was when he was younger, growing up and it sucks, i dont want to be either but i cant find a job...

Now, i was thinking ocne i turn 21 in november, i was gonan talk to my friend(and my dads friend) who is the manager of cap n' cork(dont know what this is, look it up) and he has always said that me and my cousin daniel are the only young people he would hire if we were atleast 21, so that might work out, if i do get a job, but that is 2 months away...

i think that is it for now...just needed to get this off my chest, thanks for reading, if you did read it all, i know it was alot!