Hey there guys. This is going to be a tutorial on teaching you the correct way to deal with your grief.
Step 1.)
Cry. You must get all of your emotions out of the way, you simply must. Don't ever think you have cried to long, it is never to long!
Step 2.)
Acknowledge the pain, don't hide from it! Embrace it, you must deal with your pain if you run away it will only take longer.
Step 3.)
Move on in life, carry on as you did but don't keep them out of your mind. Let the thoughts flow as they are meant to.
Step 4.)
Remember them. On their birthday and day of death and holidays, light a candle, do anything you want. Keep a picture of them in your house in a place you see regularly, soon you will smile and remember the good times instead of simply being upset. Play a song that reminds you of them, or was their favorite, use this to reminisce.
Notes: Never try to get over it just let the process run it's course, always keep them there, do not hide. Love them, remember them, miss them.
I normally get angry and punch myself, cry a bit, then just go to bed. I'm not really the type to embrace something and think about it logically.
Anger is a natural emotion to feel during grief but never let your anger control you. Crying is a good thing it is an output for that emotion, I suggest you talk to people, trust me you may get really god damn upset but it will help you in the long road, if you sturggle to speak to someone face to face (which is better) then I am available for you to speak to online.
Also, be careful that you don't send emails or messages that you may regret later, as that can add to the grief.
(08-05-2010, 09:03 PM)Eve Wrote: [ -> ]Also, be careful that you don't send emails or messages that you may regret later, as that can add to the grief.
That is a brilliant point, thanks for the contribution.
(08-05-2010, 07:40 PM)ElectricDreams Wrote: [ -> ]Anger is a natural emotion to feel during grief but never let your anger control you. Crying is a good thing it is an output for that emotion, I suggest you talk to people, trust me you may get really god damn upset but it will help you in the long road, if you sturggle to speak to someone face to face (which is better) then I am available for you to speak to online.
Talking to people doesn't work. Most people are complete dumbasses, and they tell you things such as "They're in a better place now". Of course, they're in a better place now, but nobody who just had a close family member or friend die wants to hear that. Another thing people say is "Just try to forget about it, they wouldn't want you to cry / worry". Of course they wouldn't, but you don't want to forget about them. It's best to talk to people about things OTHER than the death, such as a sport, or something fun. Even if you aren't thoroughly enjoying it, the person you are talking to will understand and will make the best of it.
I will use some of these steps when i get mad just go do something fun to get the problem off my mind.
(08-07-2010, 07:43 PM)Tate Wrote: [ -> ]Talking to people doesn't work. Most people are complete dumbasses, and they tell you things such as "They're in a better place now". Of course, they're in a better place now, but nobody who just had a close family member or friend die wants to hear that. Another thing people say is "Just try to forget about it, they wouldn't want you to cry / worry". Of course they wouldn't, but you don't want to forget about them. It's best to talk to people about things OTHER than the death, such as a sport, or something fun. Even if you aren't thoroughly enjoying it, the person you are talking to will understand and will make the best of it.
Not strictly true, agreed most people are. Some people do actually understand, I draw my advice from real life experiences...
If I haven't personally experienced it then I won't advise on it. You are so right of course you don't want to hear that but just because it hurts doesn't mean you shouldn't talk about it.
(08-07-2010, 07:48 PM)Krazy Beast Wrote: [ -> ]I will use some of these steps when i get mad just go do something fun to get the problem off my mind.
Good.
Good overlay of steps but they will not work for everyone as everyone deals with these things differently.
Well Swat that depends on your outlook, I was speaking to a psychologist and we all have the same progression just in different steps usually, if something works for one person then it will probably work for 99% of other people if they are willing to give it a try.
NOTE: This is not an argument, just a reply.