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So.... I am at my wits end. and if anyone reads this ALL I thank you for your time.

I am a 22 year old male. I am a college graduate and currently work in IT (sort of)

I started at one company that lasted 8 months then they closed down the offices I got laid off. I then got hired on by a local IT firm.

That lasted 11 months then the economy collapsed so boom im out of work again. I then got a new job as a systems admin for a small financial firm. they did there budget and they only had room for one admin, so again I am out of work, 3 jobs in less than a 2 years time. now I finally got a job after half a year. i make 2000 bucks a month after taxes. my bills range around 1300 a month so that does not leave much on my plate I cannot move out of my parents place as I cannot find a place that is cheap I have no friends that i would move out with. ( I have one friend lets call her Heather she is always there for me )

Then.... theres the fact I am single. I have had one gf in my life. lasted a year then we ended it. I have been rejected 8 times in the last 2 months by various girls I am interested in. so... I live at home... have a job I fought real hard for that pays me crap wages im 15000 in debt... just wait till you here what for.

I bought a truck for 15000 dollars with my line of credit from the bank that I had accumalated to finance my own sub contracting company doing IT work for a business contact deploying systems all over the province pay was 65k a year. the deal fell through.... no biggie the truck was nice.

I have one hobby. drag racing. I love going to the track and watching and racing. its like a drug really I stop thinking about what is wrong with my life and focus on one thing making it down the 1/4 mile as fast as I can. I don't make enough money to do this....

and the market is saturated with IT professionals. so I am stuck answering calls for the local telecom company dealing with issues that really don't challenge me I am in auto pilot when there.

I feel like I can't get out. I can't make a life for myself. I have no savings. no friends. no credit. im stretched beyond my means. I might as well be behind bars doing 25 to life cause I feel trapped.

Heather my friend has a son with a guy who is never there for her they live together but he is often trying to bed some other woman. heather puts up with it for her sons sake and the fact she can't support him on her own. She is like a sister but recently she admitted to having feelings for me years ago that I never picked up on. I can't seem to tell when a girl is interested in me I have no clue , I really don't know how to approach them or talk or anything. I was the nice guy in high school I always walked girls home drunk from partys never tried to take advantage of them, always helped them with relationship issues. not once exploited them for sex. again lost my virginity at 20 to my first real gf often felt ashamed even lied to her at first telling her I wasnt one and then later told her she was my first.

to sum up.

I am financially burdened. I have no gf women don't find me attractive. I have one true hobby that I love but cannot afford. I have one ONE friend, and last but not least I am stuck living at home.

And I see one way out...death. at 22 years of age I can't stand my life and want to just end it. because I only get relief from this burden in two places one is sleeping and being unconcious the other is going down the 1/4 mile.

so before I up and do it. any advice? possible ways out?

and um.. if you mention how much people are gonna miss me... please don't you don't feel guilt when your dead.

also....

nothing about Christ.. I am atheist I do not believe in a higher being.

Dude. Do not do it. I've just lost my great grandmother. It's hard for me and it will become hard for those who loves you. You're in this world for a reason. I believe that you can do something to make you feel better. Get onto a dating website, make money online. Just try! Death is never the way out of anything.

Take a moment and breath, death is certainly not the answer. Okay, so, from reading that it seems to me that your interested in a girl named "Heather" and drag racing. Keep talking to Heather on a regular basis and always look for new jobs that interest you. Spend some money on going to the track once a week to give yourself something to look forward too. After time, you will end up with a good job (after searching), by financing you'll be out of debt and you'll be back to your old-self again.

Killing yourself does not affect only you. No, I am not trying to guilt you. Think about how badly your family would be hurt if you killed yourself. It's not like, "Oh, you won't feel guilt about hurting them since you'll be dead." Regardless, they'll still be hurt, and if you don't care about that, then you're in worse shape than you realize.

Honestly if you want to, you can start new and try to become a paramedic or something. It's only 2 years in college and you get paid 100k a year after experienced.
That's why I'm doing.

Get over yourself.
Your whole post was about you!
What about your mother and father.
Sisters and brothers.
Family butthead.
Killing yourself is the easy bit. Its the selfish bit.
Eveyone has bad times. Take them on as best you can and make yourself a better future.
You get 1 chance. fudge it up then you die. Simple. But at least try first.
The future is as bright as you make it.
Be positive and you will find woman area attracted to it.
Talk the crap you are and what you expect? Hot chicks to run after a dood who wants to neck himself?
This also applies to jobs.

Dude Just grab life by the tits and get laid DO NOT KILL YOURSELF!!

I wish getting laid was that easy for me lol but it's not I've had 1 girl friend in my life.

After this weekend I thought for sure I could do it, figure a answer to everything still can't I have this dream I'm treading water in a giant container and the water is slowly filling to the top. If I stop I die from drowning if I continue I delay the inevitable. This container is like a giant plexi glass box I can see outside it and it's like a movie basically I watch my family members my parents my friends all enjoying there lives and I'm stiluck in this giant plastic cube unable to do anything but wait till the end comes then I wake up.

And people wonder why I have issues sleeping.

u said that this gurl heather had feelings for u
if u feel the same way about her y dont u persue that
thats proof right there that women do find u attractive

i know what its like to feel like no cares about u as i used 2 be severely depressed after my dad passed away and much into my highschool life
the best thing to do is to talk about it with some one
find a new hobby (one u can afford) and use that to keep ur mind off the things that bring u down
as for a job keep trying and dont give up
it took me 4 years till i got my new job about a week ago
economy still isnt good but its starting to get better
dont just look for jobs that apply to ur career choice
even working at burger king puts some money in your pocket

plz dont end it
it will affect those that know u and care about u
cuz not only do the ppl in ur immediate life care about u but we care about u here on support forums
we want you to live a long and health life

PLEASE MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE
~BKOTZ~

My advice is simple. Look at a few of the things you're saying. Look at the way YOU see your life. Read them aloud to yourself.

(07-20-2010, 09:53 PM)Ricks123 Wrote: [ -> ]I can't make a life for myself. I have no savings. no friends. no credit. im stretched beyond my means. I might as well be behind bars doing 25 to life cause I feel trapped.

(07-20-2010, 09:53 PM)Ricks123 Wrote: [ -> ]I am financially burdened. I have no gf women don't find me attractive. I have one true hobby that I love but cannot afford. I have one ONE friend, and last but not least I am stuck living at home.

Now question that the most likely reason you're feeling so low is simply because the perspective you have of everything your life entails has been narrowed. You're one of the many people telling your one dramatic story and how your life has turned into getting over this one event. Now your life is becoming more about your past than your future.

I’m not going to be harsh and say “it happens to everyone, deal with it”, but I will be harsh and say this... if you’re thinking of killing yourself – I wont stop you. People that give up before truly trying receive no sympathy from someone like me. I’m sure there’s a nice tall building somewhere housing a nice new IT company that could do with some press attention from some ‘nobody’ jumping from their roof.

Just take a look at this moment in your life. This moment right now. Decide if you really have lived it all for nothing. Decide if you really want to continue being a ‘nobody’, then make your choice. People tend to not know how truly strong they really are until they’ve hit rock bottom and had to build themselves back up again. Trust me, I know. Most people don’t really even want their lives fixed or their problems solved, their dramas or their distractions taken away. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown. Yes you have a lot of negatives, but you also listed a bunch of positives in your life too. You just need to read between the lines to see them.

It’s your choice how you’re influenced by this advice. Just know that nobody will get you anywhere but you.